Parenting a teenager can be a challenging balancing act. As a parent, it's completely natural for you to want to support and guide your teen as they navigate adolescence. However, it's crucial to allow them the independence they need to develop into capable, self-reliant adults.
Unfortunately, many well-intentioned parents unknowingly cross the line into overparenting. This excessive involvement in their teenager's life can hinder the child's personal growth and ability to handle life's challenges.
In this article, we'll explore five signs that you might be overparenting your teenage kid and offer guidance on how to step back and set healthy boundaries.
Signs of Overparenting
You Constantly Remind Them About Deadlines
While it's natural to want your teen to succeed, constantly reminding them about homework, project deadlines, or extracurricular commitments can be counterproductive and would only prevent your teenager from developing their own time management skills and sense of responsibility.
You Don't Let Them Communicate With Their Teacher
Another crucial part of a teenager's development is learning to advocate for themselves and communicate effectively with authority figures. If you're always the one emailing teachers about assignments, grades, or classroom issues, you're denying your teen the opportunity to develop these essential skills.
You Take Over When a Problem Upsets Your Teen
It can be difficult to see your child upset or struggling, but rushing in to solve every problem for them can be detrimental to their growth. Taking over whenever a problem upsets your teen could prevent them from learning problem-solving skills and boosting their confidence.
You're Hyper-Involved in Their School Life
While it's important to stay informed about your teen's academic progress, being overly involved in every aspect of their school life can be suffocating. Such hyper-involvement can lead to increased stress for both you and your teen and may prevent them from developing autonomy in their academic life.
You're Hyper-Involved in Their College Application
The college application process is undoubtedly stressful, but it serves as your child's introduction to adulthood. Being too involved in their college application will not only put constant pressure on your teen, but it could also take ownership away from them and discourage them from using their voice.
How To Set Boundaries
Recognizing and acknowledging the signs of overparents is the first step towards adjusting your approach. Once you've recognized the signs, the next step to take is to step back and allow your teen to explore life and all its hardships.
When you're setting boundaries with your teen, some of the things you should do include:
Allowing your teen to make age-appropriate decisions and face the consequences of their choices.
Instead of solving problems for them, guide them through the process of finding solutions on their own.
As your teen demonstrates maturity, give them more control over their schedules, schoolwork, and personal life.
Encourage your teen to speak up for themselves.
Acknowledge your teen's hard work and perseverance, regardless of the outcome.
Lastly, if you're struggling to take a step back, consider talking to a family therapist or counselor for guidance.
