Several parents don't always look forward to discussing pornography with their children, but it's necessary especially since kids make technology a part of their lives. They're bound to see adult content on the Internet or receive racy photos on their phones from their friends as a joke. Being open about it can breed healthy perceptions about sex and body image, and it would be better for the kids to learn about it from their parents first rather than the Internet.
Below are some suggestions on how to discuss porn with children:
1) Be open to talk about it.
Parents will have to make their kids know that they are free to ask questions about porn. The children may be confused or shocked by it and they could also likely be aroused by the images they see. Instead of freaking out and overreacting, it's better to explain why their reactions are normal. Psychologist Marty Klein suggested asking questions like "How did you feel about what you saw? Was it scary? Exciting? Confusing?" per New York Times.
2) Thread carefully and be discerning.
Parents must also take the child's age and gender into consideration when having these conversations. "It's so different with girls; it's not the same conversation," said a mother via Mashable. For younger kids, taking about pornography may not have much impact, but for pre-teens and teenagers, it's important to explain that porn is not what real sex is like. "Porn is not a great representation of how sex actually is between two people," said a Mashable reader.
Safe Kids suggested putting everything into context, as some kids may only be momentarily curious. On the other hand, if the child is seeking porn or collecting images, then it's a possible indication of a serious problem that may require the help of a professional.
3) Don't stress on the bad stuff.
"What the kid has done may be an issue, but what a kid is feeling or thinking is not the problem. You don't say 'You're a bad kid for thinking this,' even if you do feel that he has been a naughty kid for doing it," said pediatrician Dr. Daniel Broughton, via Safe Kids. This approach will also hinder the kids from going to their parents for the answers.
Instead, parents must focus on are themes like exploitation, consent and body image so that the children don't form perceptions that could lead them to feel shame or guilt. "It's a powerful medium that can shape their understanding of sex before they even experience it," said a mother per Babble.
