It's probably safe to say that all parents want to have responsible children-children who voluntarily shovel the sidewalk and toddlers who place their empty milk bottles in the sink, without being asked. The good news is there are simple, yet very effective ways to teach children responsibility.
Dr. Karen Ruskin, author of "The 9 Key Techniques for Raising Respectful Children Who Make Responsible Choices" says that teaching "children responsibility is not a trick, but is simply teaching them life skills," as quoted in Parent Circle. She explains that children who are not given responsibilities or do not have a concept of what responsibilities are will grow up feeling entitled and will think that there will always be people who will do things for them.
Furthermore, Dr. Alex Barzvi, psychologist and "About Our Kids" co-host, shares that responsibility is not just about completing a task. "It's also about an attitude, the idea of taking action and being proud of doing it, she says. "Not just always having your mom and dad do it for you."
Fortunately, raising helpful and nice kids is possible. Here are a few of the most effective ways to incorporate responsibility into your children.
1. Teach them while they're young
Responsibility cannot be just taught on a teenager who already grew up without fully understanding its concept. Give children responsibilities while they are still toddlers. Invite them to help you clean the house or arrange the book cabinet, even if it means taking you a longer time to complete the job. Simple responsibilities like these will teach children the importance of taking ownership of his home and will always have that need to maintain it.
2. Show them how to do things
As mentioned on Parents, both Ruskin and Barzvi suggest parents demonstrate how their children can complete easy tasks. If your daughter asks for a snack, instead of preparing it for her, tell her where the snacks are located. If your son's toys are just all over his room, place a basket and show him how to clean up after playing with them.
3. Notice their efforts
Kids want and love to help all the time since chores do not feel like work yet to them. To ensure that they continue the way they look at chores, make sure that when they complete a task, you notice their efforts. You can say, "Thank you for putting your toys away," or "Glad you cleared the table, I'm proud of you."
4. Lower your expectations
When you ask your kid to make his bed, it may not be as properly fixed as you want it to, but it's important that you do not criticize, as what's important is that you recognize that he completed the task and made the effort to get the job done. Just show him next time how you would fix a bed.
5. Minimize rewards
Giving rewards is not necessarily a bad thing but it's important to avoid giving some at first, so your kids will not just do chores in exchange for toys or candies. Make sure that you don't forget to compliment your kids and simply save the rewards for tasks that went beyond your children's usual household responsibilities.
6. Let them understand consequences
She Knows agrees that to get your children to do things, sometimes parents need to let them learn their lessons and make decisions on their own. For example, when you want your son to clean up after using his art materials, tell him that he will not be allowed to use them tomorrow if he leaves his table messy. If he does not follow, you would have to follow through and take his materials away.
Barzvi says that it is always the children's choice to not put their toys away. "Parents are afraid to let kids suffer, be sad or angry," she explains, however, she also emphasizes that if parents are always there to solve their children's problems, they will not have the opportunity to learn how to be responsible.
Instilling responsibility in kids is not that easy. It takes a lot of patience and time, but if you follow these tips, you have a better chance of raising good and responsible children, who will eventually grow to become responsible adults.
