Every year, almost a million divorces and annulments happen in the U.S. Some blame it on irreconcilable differences and some blame it on cheating. But according to an extensive study, most divorces are actually caused by one behavior -- contempt.
The research was led by psychologists John Gottman from the University of Washington and Robert Levenson from University of California at Berkeley, according to an article by Business Insider and as posted in Yahoo. It involved the study of 79 newly-married couples during a span of 14 years which found out that contempt caused by superiority complex is a real relationship killer for many married people.
"Contempt, a virulent mix of anger and disgust, is far more toxic than simple frustration or negativity. It involves seeing your partner as beneath you, rather than as an equal," the article shares. Contempt is the "kiss of death" for relationships and can predict divorce with an accuracy level of 93%, according to Gottman.
There is a reason why contempt and superiority complex can kill relationships. It is because a person with contempt will have a hard time relating to and understanding the feelings, opinion and perspective of his or her significant other.
Psychology Today shared some of the most common signs of contempt which include constantly projecting a negative tone, sarcasm and eye-rolling during conversations with your partner; constantly dismissing and disregarding your partner's thoughts and concerns; and thinking that you are smarter and more superior compared to your significant other.
Being empathetic to the feelings of the other is the best way to eliminate this relationship killer. Empathy can be expressed by listening, being understanding, appreciative, grateful, affectionate and warm to the other person. "Want to enjoy positive work relationships, healthy relationships with your children, and a long-loving marriage? Dump the contempt. Listen well. And pump up the positivity," advised Psychology Today.
