Breaking bad news to children is the last thing any parent would want to do, but it does happen. And while this type of conversation is never easy, taking a positive stance and discussing it properly can help assure a child and make them feel safer and secure.
Know As Much Of The Story As Possible
According to Everything You Need To Know About Childcare and Parenting (EYDCP), parents should wait to know the full story before discussing the news with their children. Make sure that you gather all the facts that you could so children will not fill in the missing details themselves.
Granted that there are times you don't always know everything, just make sure that when you discuss the issue with them, you do not give out facts that you are unsure of or things that you hope are facts, even if it means doing so will make the news much easier for your children to swallow. Furthermore, it is always important to be honest with your children, so they know they can count on you and trust you.
Use Age-Appropriate Language
Talk to your children at a level they would understand. Make sure that you use terms that they are familiar with, so you don't leave them feeling more confused.
Be straight to the point in a gentle way, avoid dramatic explanations and use clear descriptions regardless of your children's ages. Avoid injecting extra statements that might be conflicting to your previous explanations.
Choose A Quiet Moment
The way you break the news to your children is just as important as when you tell it. The American Psychological Association (APA) suggests waiting for the right time to let them know about the issue.
The ideal moment is towards the end of the day when things that needed to be done had been completed already. It can be during dinner or in their bedrooms after they've eaten. Parents are also advised to stay with their children for a while after breaking the news as they might have questions which need to be answered before they can comfortably go to sleep.
As much as possible, avoid sharing difficult news in the morning. Hearing bad news early in the day can affect children and their performance especially if they have an exam or a big event later in the day.
Maintain A Positive Attitude
When talking to your kids, She Knows advises parents to put on a brave face. Doing so allows them to realize that even though you are hurt and upset, you can still pull yourself together and move on. Having a positive attitude will help encourage your children to move past the difficult news and make it easier for them to accept it.
Acknowledge Your Child's Feelings
Regardless of how silly your children's worries are, do not dismiss them as nonsensical. Encourage them to talk about their concerns and have them explain until you figure out the reasoning which makes sense and finally understood where they're coming from.
Make Yourself Available To Your Children
Even if discussing the news repeatedly hurts you, it is very important to let your kids know that they can talk to you anytime and ask you more questions that they still might have. Do not block off their feelings as allowing them to open up will make it easier for them to process information. It is very important to reassure them and let them know that you are always there for them.
