Parents who have more than one child often have to deal with sibling rivalry when their kids reach a certain age, and they become more self-aware about themselves and other family members.
While sibling rivalry can be positive, such as when children try to bring out the best in each other in specific fields, it can also be damaging. The latter can be dangerous if left alone, as it can foster aggression and even hatred in the long term.
How Does Sibling Rivalry Affect Families?
Parents should know that sibling rivalry, whether positive or negative, affects children and the adults around them. Some parents may feel that they spend most of their time mediating conflicts between their kids due to their varying personalities, likes, and dislikes.
This means that parents will typically feel more anxious and stressed whenever siblings fight over something they disagree on. On the other hand, the effects of sibling rivalry on children can vary depending on the situation.
One of the worst things that children can feel is sibling rivalry, turning into a form of abuse. For context, a study in 2013 analyzed data from the National Survey of Children's Exposure to Violence that found sibling assaults are relatively common and that rates of violence were highest among siblings who were less than two years apart in age.
How To Deal With Sibling Rivalry
Considering these factors, there are three main ways for parents to address sibling rivalry and foster a more positive relationship between their children. The first is to reward cooperation, which is done by encouraging, labeling, and rewarding the behavior that parents want to see.
When children get more practice cooperating with their siblings, they are more likely to do it again in the future, especially if their parents adequately encourage it. The second method is called parent-child time, which is where parents reassure their children that they do not need to feel they need to compete with their siblings.
Parents should remember to make each child feel unique and valued. This will reduce potential feelings of neglect, which typically fuel antagonistic sibling rivalry.
The third way is to assign kids different roles, which avoids pitting them against each other within the household. Parents should regularly talk with their children about their unique roles in the family, which can help boost their self-esteem.
Promote Positive Sibling Relationships
This method can be done in various ways, including choosing activities and interests that all siblings can enjoy together. Parents should also recognize when siblings support, cooperate, and help one another to foster a healthy relationship.
Engaging in shared experiences is also beneficial, as parents can highlight each sibling's unique strengths that require them to work together. Parents should also help their children regulate their emotions, assisting them in identifying and processing their feelings during difficult times.
While parents can use many different methods to handle sibling rivalry, each family should observe their own to see which works best. Every child will have different needs, and proper communication is needed to address issues.
