A parent's love and care for their children are unconditional. Parents watch their children grow over time and this is one of the most beautiful things they can witness in this world.
It's an inevitable reality that parents will not be able to care for their children forever. They age and there comes a time that they will no longer be capable of doing things that they usually do for their children.
Time will come when their children will be the one to care for them. Do all parents really want their children to look after them and care for them when they get old?
There are a lot of adult children who wants to reciprocate the care they had from their parents and the sad thing is they sometimes get ignored. What does an aging parent really want from their adult children?
Wants to be cared but they don't want to express it directly.
According to a study about aging parents that are getting at the stage of having some ambivalence in relations with their adult children, old parents want to have their own control over their life but at the same time, they want to have their children to intervene and offer help if needed. They might express some resistance from the help offered by their children but deep inside, they truly appreciate it.
Wants autonomy and doesn't want to be assessed.
Old parents are usually living independent and they are happy being autonomous in their life.
According to an article by George J Agich, Ph.D., of Bowling Green State University, Autonomy for old people is taken to be equivalent to liberty; self-rule, self-determination, freedom of will, dignity, integrity, individuality, independence, responsibility, and self-knowledge. Old parents are surely going to be happy getting a visit from their children but they sometimes think if they really wanted to visit them or just to check on them. Old parents are very sensitive from being criticized if they are still capable of doing several things. They want to get visited but not being assessed.
Wants to be treated as a competent normal person.
Old parents don't want to be controlled by their adult children. They don't want to hear those "do this and do that." All they want is to be treated normally and not as an incompetent old person. They only call for help if it is already needed.
For adult children, it is ethical to give care and some control to their old parents but they must also take into consideration about how they will feel and not just telling them what are the right things to do.
