When it comes to disciplining children, there is no known formula that does the trick all the time. Teaching them the value of discipline will actually do them well especially when it is done in their formative years.
As real as it can be, parents often times fall short of doing the right way of disciplining their children. Amanda May of Parenting talks about the common pitfalls of parents whenever they discipline their children.
Disciplining Pitfall #1: Telling a Lie
This is by far, the easiest thing to do to get your children obey you. "Eat your veggies to me or else the boogeyman will get you," can actually do more harm than good.
Scare tactics can only do so much and it might also cause trauma in the future. The best option is to tell them the truth and focus on the benefits of their obedience rather than the punishment.
Disciplining Pitfall #2: Back Down
Threatening a child to make them obey without actually doing anything would only encourage their bad behavior. Repeatedly saying 'If you don't stop throwing sand, I'm going to make you leave the sandbox' won't stop the bad behavior," says Bridget Barnes, coauthor of Common Sense Parenting for Toddlers and Preschoolers. "What your child hears is 'I can keep doing this a few more times before Mom makes me stop.'" That being said, a time out would be the perfect solution.
Disciplining Pitfall #3: Bribe a Little Too Often
Liz Samuel from NJ confesses, "My two-year-old daughter, Isabelle, has never been a great eater, so I once offered her a piece of chocolate if she would just finish her lunch." Although it had worked for her and Isabelle actually ate her chicken and sweet potato, it has become a precedent for her to ask her mom a piece of chocolate or lollipop whenever she eats even just a piece of fry.
A better way would be to promote positive reinforcement saying words like, "I'm really proud of you," "You did a great job," and the likes to make your child feel the appropriate emotions about his behavior. Bonnie Maslin, author of Picking Your Battles explains that parents should not underestimate the power of disappointment. "Saying 'I'm really sad you broke the present Daddy gave me' makes a child feel appropriately bad about his behavior," says Maslin. "You may feel like a terrible parent in the moment, but you're actually helping your child develop a conscience."
