In America, 40 to 50 percent of marriages end up in divorce, only proving once again that it takes a lot of effort to make a marriage work. It is a complete package of the right mixture of a couple things, from the affection down to the responsibility to balance the factors.
A new research suggests that the couple's standards contribute to the level of satisfaction they have in their marriage, however, it's not always in a good way. According to the study, high standards only improve satisfaction if the marriage is strong to start with. However, for relationships that aren't strong enough, those marriages with passive-aggression or with severe differences, these standards would only make things worse, Medical Daily reports.
Dr. James McNulty, the study's author and a professor of Psychology at Florida State University explained that there are some people who require so much from their marriages mainly because they want their partners to fulfill the needs that they are not able to achieve because they lack the capacity, time, effort, and skills. "Other people demand too little from their marriages. Their marriage is a potential source of personal fulfillment that they are not exploiting. Ultimately, spouses appear to be best off to the extent that they ask of their marriages as much as, but not more than, their marriages are able to give them."
According to tlc.com, researchers used surveys and recorded discussions to study 135 couples from Tennessee and observe their verbal communication and how they interact with each other. McNulty also said that although high standards can tear relationships that are already on-edge apart, it's still OK to ask more from your partner and your relationship if you think that your relationship has a strong foundation.
"Other people demand too little from their marriages. Their marriage is a potential source of personal fulfillment that they are not exploiting," says McNulty. He also emphasized that indirect hostility will destroy a relationship. "Prior work by our lab and others indicates that direct hostility, such as blaming the partner for a problem and demanding that the partner change, can have important benefits to some couples, specifically those who need to change," he explained.
During their first assessment, most couples were saying how everything was going well when it came to satisfaction in the marriage and their standards. However, there are those who didn't start their marriage with high set of standards and have low satisfaction. Researchers noticed that the spouses' standards were connected with the changes in satisfaction relied heavily on their tendency to engage in indirect hostility as time passed.
