There's no good way of telling your spouse that you've decided you want to get a divorce. The timing will never be right, you will never be ready and whatever you say will make you the bad guy. But the thing is, you can make the whole situation even worse.
How to tell your spouse you want a divorce. https://t.co/sPbLztOu6D #divorce pic.twitter.com/PVOdkYQy2J
— William Harris (@wharrislaw) May 28, 2015
While there are no fast rules in bringing up the subject of divorce to your spouse, there are ways to make it worse. There are no guidebooks or idiot-proof manuals that can teach you the right things to say when you announce your intentions.
But don't let that discourage you. There is a way to tell them and still get out alive -- just take preventive measures and avoid the unnecessary. The Huffington Post and The Good Men Project list a few things that you shouldn't do when telling your spouse that you want a divorce:
Avoid The Easy Way Out
Huffington Post noted an episode from the "Sex and the City" where the breakup news was announced through a post-it. You may also be tempted to just text or email your spouse about your intentions.
It may save you having to face your spouse and any drama that may ensue, but choosing the easy way out can create devastating emotional turmoil to your partner. There will be more questions left unanswered between the two of you. As The Good Men Project puts it, "its tacky, cold-hearted and just plain bad manners."
Using Third Party to Deliver the News
This is just plain lack of tact. The Good Men Project tells of an incident where a spouse asked the sheriff to deliver the divorce papers to his/her spouse. When you start your divorce in this way, it is a sure sign of a coming war.
Another incident the website shared is announcing your divorce over the social media before you tell your spouse. No matter how much you hate your space, turning to social media can create more drama by involving more people in an otherwise private matter.
Don't do it in public or in front of the children too. The only ones that should be part of the conversations are you and your spouse.
After an Intimate Moment
Huffington Post ranks this as probably the worst. Since both of you and your spouse are quite vulnerable, having spent some intimate time in the bedroom, this can result in humiliating or dangerous scenes. You can have your balls kicked or you can get thrown outside naked.
Again, there's no easy way to break in the divorce to your spouse. It is best to act with dignity, empathy and respect in approaching this type of matter. Check out this video for more helpful tips:
