A kid already has a sense of integrity as early as the age of 3. Shame is already a big deal for him or her at that stage. Be careful then how you mold your child and ensure that you do not destroy his or her integrity and character.
The toddler years of a child is spent with the tension between "autonomy and shame" according to a German-born American psychoanalyst, Erik Erickson. At this stage, the child is building self-esteem and autonomy while new skills are learned and the recognition between right from wrong happens as well. The first three years are very critical and you need to have to take good care of the child by observing careful discipline tactics. A well-cared child grows sure of himself and carries himself or herself with pride instead of shame. Temper tantrums and stubbornness may appear at this stage as kids below three tend to be vulnerable because the sense of shame and and low self-esteem persists especially in times of inability to learn certain skills.
Huff Post Canada (HPC) writes 3 parenting tactics that may destroy any child's integrity and character. The 3 tactics that are to be avoided, according to HPC are:
1. Eye rolling,
2. Sarcasm, and
3. Silent treatment.
Eye rolling and silent treatment are both non-verbals and can be interpreted by the child as a form of rejection.These will make them paranoid and unknowingly, it is embedded in their minds and later on they will imitate your example. Sarcasm on the other hand is not very good for kids. Even though some jokes are thrown to them, they already understand and interpret the "half meaning" that is implied.
Spanking and shaming will soon be illegal in Canada. Perhaps this is because of the protection that the children need to preserve their integrity and character. Disciplining the child should not involve shaming. There are great ways to mold the young ones to become good people in the future. Make sure that you know them.
