Lesson from 17th Century: Values vs. Control No matter how hard you try to monitor your kids, they are going to escape, likely while a tween. I've seen kids go right around all parental monitoring onto new platforms, other interfaces, and even other devices. Teenagers are hormonally driven to independence and you will not stop them.
Something similar was true in the 17th century - the timeframe of my new historical fiction, "Rekindled" - when there were no gadgets but the real world was still wild and dangerous like the electronic world is now. The body has a built in monitoring device that works way better than gadgets. It is called a conscience.
Consciences are developed when present people acting as parents discipline kids consistently. The voice of the conscience is initially the echoing voice of the parent...when the parent isn't even there. If your kids are at activities and with other caregivers, it's harder to get a consistent voice for that conscience. The primary reason to spend the hours to care for your own kids is to instill that conscience young...there is no substitute. In the 17th century fathers and mothers ran house churches in addition to the community-based church on Sunday. Discipline was strict while children were present. Still, children assumed responsibility and relative independence at young ages.
A successfully developed conscience cannot be avoided by its carrier - it is better than the best monitoring device in the world. So give them independence while you can still catch them, and spend the time in discussions of why behaviors are right and wrong. Just because we have gadgets doesn't mean we should avoid tools that work without them-like well-developed consciences for our kids.
Lesson from Science: Read to Them Many people watch movies or sit their kids in front of a movie instead of reading with them. However, the studies are showing that reading with kids is more valuable than private school. If they can't read yet, read to them. If they are having trouble enjoying reading, read every other page or every other paragraph to them...and take extra turns. When the story is done and they say "Wow that was a great movie...er..uh..story," that is when you are winning. They have begun to visualize the words in their head. When they grab the book from you and don't need you anymore, you've won. Don't underestimate the Bible as a source of great stories. It will help them form a conscience.
From one parent to another, my hope is that my life lessons may help in some small way. Even the best kids can head down the wrong path - and it's our job as parents to have the awareness to be able to guide them back.
About Teresa Irizarry Teresa Irizarry worked as an engineer for a large corporation for several decades. She noticed that it was Roger Williams's enemies that controlled the narrative, and used her trouble-shooting skills in going back to the original sources to discover a new perspective on Roger Williams. During her career she met memorable, brilliant people from all over the world, people pursuing the American dream, a dream forged in part in the previously de-emphasized or forgotten aspects of this story.
