Natalie Portman may be a highly-acclaimed actress in Hollywood but it does not mean that she did not face struggles during her college days. In her speech delivered during Harvard College's class day on Wednesday, the "Black Swan" star revealed that she had "pretty dark moments" as a student in the prestigious academic institution, according to The Huffington Post.
"There were several occasions I started crying in meetings with professors," Portman revealed to the graduating class. She went on to say that she was "overwhelmed with what I was supposed to pull off when [she] could barely get out of bed in the morning."
The actress also revealed her fear that other students in Harvard think she was only granted admission due to her Hollywood fame, citing the timeline of events during her freshman year.
"When I came in as a freshman in 1999, I felt like there had been some mistake," Portman said, according to People Magazine. She shared that she initially thought she "wasn't smart enough to be in [the] company."
She added, "When I got to Harvard just after the release of 'Star Wars: Episode 1', I feared people would assume I had gotten in just for being famous, and not worthy of the intellectual rigor here."
To add context to the fears she felt when she first got in the school, Portman comes from a public high school in Long Island, where students sported "Prada bags and flat-ironed hair." She revealed that during that time, her schoolmates did not really care that she was an actress.
In fact, she was even voted as the most likely student from the batch to become a contestant in the hit game show, "Jeopardy", a code her high school batchmates use to mean "nerdy." Portman admitted, "I was known for having a backpack bigger than I was, and always having whiteout on my hands."
In Harvard, however, she learned that people could judge her for being an actress. While she initially dismissed the profession as "frivolous," Portman eventually went back to acting and shared that the challenges she faced while in college helped her accept her true calling.
She shared that the moment she finally admitted to herself that she "couldn't wait to go back and make more films," she "reclaimed" her reason.
"There was a reason I was an actor," the star stated, "because I love what I do and I saw from my peers and my mentors that was not only an acceptable reason, that was the best reason."
