Almost all parents are too focused on what their child is doing. A child's behavior is judged on surface, while the factors that drive such behavior mostly go unnoticed. It's very common for a child to feel that he or she isn't being fully understood.
What's more important for parents to focus on is to see what's going inside a child's heart rather than 'correcting' their behavior. Behavior stems from the heart, whereas parents tend to lose focus in tackling this problem.
When a child's behavior becomes irritable, it draws the parents' attention. When parents come along, their ultimate goal is to change that unacceptable behavior into something which is sanctioned and appreciated. But where does the problem arise?
A child's needs go far beyond his anomalous behavior. This aberrant behavior is actually a reflection of what he is keeping in his heart. Therefore, to change behavior won't bear much fruition. However, delving into his heart and figuring out what drives his behavior changes everything.
Empowering Parents suggests that parents mustn't act out reactively. If they follow their raw impulses how are they different from their child. They must lead their children by example rather than through brute force and dictatorial authority. Help understand the child, how their heart's deviation is causing wrong behavior.
According to a post in Family Life, once the root is cured, the branches soothe themselves out naturally. Even though the mind is the cognitive unit of the body that encompasses consciousness, the heart is the center of one's being.
Parenting is all about shepherding a child's heart through continuous engagement so that he appraises why he should behave a certain way instead of memorizing a list of commands to oblige like a robot. It's much like a lock and key. A lock won't budge until unlocked by a key. The key maneuvers its way and find the lock's core, smoothly unlocking the initially fixated lock. The other way is to break the lock, but that would mean that the lock cannot be repaired again.
Kids should be dealt on the same analogy. Their hearts won't budge until they come to peace at heart for what their behavior is. To unlock their core should be parents' utmost priority, otherwise children have a high tendency to become overly emotional, which in turn triggers a domino effect consisting of a myriad of psychological disorders.
