You, as a parent, find it difficult to discuss things with your child especially during their adolescence. According to Wall Street Journal, they start to argue at the age of 10 to 13. They say that at this age teens begin to be free for them to start to form their character. They start to make friends or be part of other group peers at school or even in the neighborhood. They also try to discover new things in their life. A study from Psychology Today claims that immature stage is an occasion of seeing things where they encounter hard decisions concerning school, sexual preference, vices and socialization. They also included that peers, sentimental fascinations, and outward impression become immensely significant during this period heading to maturity.
In discussing things with young people, New York Times stated that convincing advanced study proposes that helpful frictions, in a parent- teen relationship, determines a teenager's preparations to foresee further his/ her outlook on life. Meaning, strong arguments occur when he/ she regards sound disputes between you and him and hurtful disagreements take place when they don't.
These are the things that one can do to have rational arguments with teens from Web MD:
1. Set up Limitations:
- Create a discussion regarding the unavoidable difference.
2. Acknowledge your Teen's Mentality
- Adolescent people are hard headed people where parents and teens usually happen to argue. Teenager's life is frenzied because of hormonal influences, social disturbances, and school load. When you get to handle your child as someone striving to keep up his/ her foundation as the plates of growing up moves below him/ her.
3. Never Intensify the Commotion
- Don't holler back even if your child yells. You have to remain to relax for your teen to notice you as his/ her ally though he/ she have a contradiction with you, according to Dr. Scott Haltzman, M.D.
4. Inquire to her what she likes
- Raise up to her what she wants in an honest manner, as Vickie Falcone mentioned in her book, Buddha Never Raised Kids Jesus Didn't Drive Carpool: Seven Principles for Parenting With Soul. You have to learn to listen actively.
5. Offer some Justifications
- Your child needs to express his/ her reasons. You have to give him/ her a chance to explain for you to understand him/ her so provide them with that kind of freedom.
6. Give Each Other Space
- If you had a bad fight and you both couldn't bear it, then give each other space to breathe so both of you can think. Then when you had your emotions down, start to discuss it again in a calm way.
7. Learn How to Bounce Back From an Unpleasant Conflict
- When fights are over, strive to patch things up in a just and fast way. Learn to say these two words "I'm sorry," or do things that will signify that your argument is over, like hugging them or giving them something or doing something they will appreciate.
8. Stay Away from these Initiations
- Avoid bringing things up that happened in the past or anything that will start a fire that will consume you both. Try to remain on one of the issues once in a row and refrain from comparing your child to others especially with his siblings.
Typically, there will come a time that parents and teens will disagree. It's understandable because of their individual differences, but it doesn't mean they will not pave the way for them to understand each other. Keep in our minds that the secret to every relationship is a healthy conversation.
It's natural that parents and teens don't sometimes agree because you are two different individuals. You both have different perceptions of things in life. But there are ways for us to understand them and the other way around.
