A book written by an international speaker and parenting coach Dr. Yvonne Sum suggests that parenting is a partnership between kids and their parents. The book "Intentional Parenting - How to Get Results for Both You and Your Kids" explores on the framework that acts as a foundation for successful parenting developed by Dr. Sum. She calls it The 7'Rs of Parenting.
Dr. Sum who is running a dental practice and a mother of two, believes that parenting is not a one-way learning. Some parents tend to forget that it is important to implement change within themselves before they can influence their kids. "When they're not performing to what you think is the best way, you get upset and want to control them," Dr. Sum said in a report from New Straits Time Online.
"Then you realise you have control issues. For me, parenting is a personal development programme that nature has given us," the author continued. Dr. Sum apparently had no idea on parenting and finding a book that could best fit her needs was no success. So, she was inspired to write her own book.
The 7'Rs of Parenting covered in the book "Intentional Parenting - How to Get Results for Both You and Your Kids" stand for respect, rules, routine, running it or response-ability, review and reflect, re-organise and role modelling. The author believes that parents should earn their children's respect by giving them respect first. An example is fulfilling a promise to give rewards when the kids were able to complete a task.
When it comes to rules, Dr. Sum advises that there should be a clear boundary to provide kids with enough freedom to act without constantly checking on them. In addition, it is crucial that parents also obey the rules they created so the kids will follow. Routines are also similar with rules and parents must ensure that they are being observed regularly.
Dr. Sum believes that a regular routine can help children make their own independent choices and develop respect for their parent's time. Apart from rules and routines, it is also important for parents to manage themselves and be organized. This is the fourth R which is running it or response-ability.
It is recommended for parents to set a degree of structure or a model on how they want things done and not just go with the flow and letting life run themselves. The fifth Rs, review and reflect are also given emphasis as parents need to stop for a while to evaluate what they have done and celebrate or improve, whichever applies. Next is re-organize which should happen if parents get stuck on a certain practice especially if the children have already grown up.
Some parents forget to revisit their routines to make way for changes about their personal lives and family plans. But it is important to be performed regularly individually and with family as necessary to make sure that needs are being met. Lastly, the final R for role modelling, is said to be the main core of parenting and it is suggested that parents set an example on how their children should live their lives.
