Loving parents want only the best for their children. If there's any way to save them for pain and suffering, it's likely that moms and dads would jump at the chance to ensure their child's comfort and security.
A parent's protective instinct towards their child is natural but as a child ages, one's duty to their kids also evolve. While parents want to protect their children, it's imperative that children aren't deprived of the experiences that will teach them the consequences of their choices.
According to Psychology Today, enabling is described as: "any behavior that makes it easier for your child to continue down a destructive path. Troubled children sometimes manipulate their parents' emotions in a way that makes it easier for them to continue to spiral downward. Ultimately, enabling makes life worse for your child and for you, while helping offers the promise of real change and mutual respect."
Parents need to recognize that enabling children will actually disable them in the long rum. The key in raising independent, capable children is teaching them to be empowered. This will allow your children to grow into responsible individuals that are confident and competent.
How To Stop Enabling Your Child
- Don't Rescue Them- The first step in stepping back is to refrain from fixing each and every problem they come across. By acting as your child's safety net and whisking away all their challenges, you don't give them the opportunity to recognize there is an issue. Allow your child to realize there is something wrong and confront it head on.
- Step Back - Parents may think that as things get worse, it's our duty to step in immediately. What moms and dads need to recognize is that allowing things to naturally progress will bring out their true character. Instead of bailing them out, the experience of sorting through the bumps on the road is a humbling yet empowering process.
- Allow Them To Make Decisions - Empowerment boils down to decision making. By loosening the reigns, you give them more control over their lives which will help them learn about decision making and its related consequences. Making the wrong choices is part of life and the earlier your child understands this, the more they will pay attention to the options put in front of them and think twice before rushing into decisions.
Dr. Phil has advised against overindulgence and has coined the practice as an insidious form of child abuse. A parent's primary duty is the prepare their children for the real world where they can't get everything they want. Being able to deal with disappointment and rise amidst challenges is a lesson that will help them though out life.
