The struggle of co-parenting is tougher when one has to share the responsibilities with a narcissist. How can one parent with someone who doesn't embrace the idea of teamwork and cooperation, or who is prone to anger and manipulation and won't be compassionate towards the hardships and challenges of raising kids?
It seems impossible to attempt co-parenting with a narcissist but some ex-couples might have to accept the reality that children will need the active presence of both parents, even if they cannot get along. Huffington Post notes for parents in this situation to either forget about co-parenting altogether or accept the idea of parallel parenting, as opposed to shared parenting. So, how can this work?
One has to first acknowledge that a narcissist will never change behavior. Thus, it would only be harmful to set too many expectations or so many rules and guidelines to co-parenting because a narcissist will not be compelled to follow through on all of these.
To keep things in order, especially since this involves the children, have everything in writing with the inputs of a lawyer, according to Love To Know. Narcissists cannot be relied upon their word, thus this a written agreement might help set things clear and straight.
Communication with a narcissist parent should only be minimal. There should be boundaries set when it comes to contact, so as to minimize conflicts.
As much as possible, the other parent should also refrain from being reactive when a narcissist co-parent seems to be pushing one's button. Voicing frustrations or disappointments compounds narcissistic behavior, according to Elephant Journal. Don't get trap in a narcissist's game.
As for the children, always impress upon them healthy parenting approaches if the narcissist parent cultivates negativity. This will teach children to understand the only behavior they can control is their own, but the choices they make can affect many people. Learn more about co-parenting with a narcissist in the video below.
