When it comes to parental authority, it seems normal to hear that there are parents who control and force their children to do what they want. But exercising parental authority doesn't have to be a power struggle between the parents and the children.
According to freelance writers, international speakers and radio show "POP Parenting" hosts, Jenni Stahlmann and Jody Hagaman, parental authority is one of the most significant yet often misunderstood "qualities" in child-rearing. In their article published in Herald Tribune, Stahlmann and Hagaman also stress having authority is not just about control or force. It also does not need any threats or bribery or manipulation.
Moreover, Stahlmann and Hagaman also highlighted that parental authority is more about "leadership, influence and education." They also revealed the four C's of parental authority, which include "calm, clear, consistent and commitment."
Since authority is about leadership, they said parents should be calm and lead themselves first before they can lead anyone else or their children. Being clear, on the other hand, meant that parents should use "simple and straightforward language" to communicate with their children and avoid using "vague terms."
When it comes to parenting, the children also need structure and boundaries. In fact, they need predictability. That is why consistency in all aspects such as in "mood, habits and temper," should be practiced by the parents.
"Consistency builds trust and, when we want to influence our children to make good choices, we need for them to trust us," Stahlmann and Hagaman wrote.
As for commitment, parents should be committed to be forgiving, patient, gentle, humble and teachable. The reason? Being committed will earn the respect of children over parental authority.
"Being committed means following through on our word and being generous with our time and attention," Stahlmann and Hagaman added. "It means being committed to a sense of justice and to modeling integrity, to the child's growth and to our own. Being committed means making decisions with the child's end result in mind. Being calm, clear, consistent and committed build parental authority, leadership and influence in our children's lives."
Meanwhile, family psychologist John Rosemond also explained that a child's "natural response" to healthy parental authority is obedience. On Rosemond's article in The Pueblo Chieftain, he detailed the formula for effective parent communication that could get a child to obey.
What are your thoughts when it comes to parental authority? Sound off in the comments section below.
