Sometimes, as parents, we ask ourselves why is it hard to control parenting triggers towards our kids? And sometimes, we even succumb to the feeling of losing control over it. We regret this in the end, but it already happened. We have let our kids witness how we behave while losing with our parenting triggers.
It is essential to understand your parenting triggers. Understand where and what triggers you from losing your temper. Understand that no matter how annoying and aggravating our child's behavior, it isn't right to respond to them with anger too. In the end, we still feel guilty and regretful for getting mad at our children.
When you use anger and yells at your child, their struggle with you won't end. That is why you must understand your parenting triggers before your child gets anxious at you.
If we yield to our parenting triggers, we may lose our skill to understand the situation and think clearly. This will cause us to act like our own children and are having our tantrums. This becomes unfair to your child.
Ways to deal with and understand your parenting triggers
Commitment to staying in-control
Recognize situations that trigger your tantrums. Is it your child, or is there something else? Do this before you commit to staying in control. You can start practicing your commitment by not giving any reactions at all and staying calm and silent.
Give yourself a chance to do whatever you want and need to do if it helps you get relaxed. It's important to understand that there's nothing wrong with disconnecting from the things that give you negativity. Even if you are a parent, you are not obligated to respond to your kid's tantrum, and you can stay calm and relaxed.
Understand consequences when you hit or yell at your child
Imagine what you feel when your partner yells at you after losing his temper. Now try to put your feelings to your child when you are screaming or, worst, hitting him. You can never imagine the feelings of a child when his or her world is crumbling. Of course, we cannot deny that we all get mad and angry at our children, but it also challenges us in putting our maturity in the situation to keep our control and expressions.
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Your anger will already frighten your child how much more when you use harsh words to them. Understand that a child you suffer from verbal and physical abuse tends to have a more lasting negative effect on their lives. From having lower IG, unstable relationship in adulthood development to drug use abuse.
Know precisely what triggers you
If you happen to know what triggers your tantrums, the higher the chance for you to understand and deal with it. The list below can be the possible triggers for you;
- Your kids whining
- Your kids showing you disrespect
- When your kids tell you that they hate you
- When your kids get hurt
- When your kids are fighting at each other
- Accidents inside the house or chores
READ MORE : 4 Anger Management Styles; The Easy Way
