Viewers are applauding the parental advice of a Tiktok parent Erica M. Burrell who explained why it is important to let kids set boundaries, even if it involves hurting their children's feelings.
Aside from being a parent, Burrell is an educator, author, and illustrator.
In The Know Parenting shared Erica's story of how she responded when her daughter, Addy, complained that a group of children was not letting her play with them.
@_theteacherlady This is a HARD truth but will be so beneficial for them long term ️ #RufflesOwnYourRidges #parenting #selfesteem #gentleparenting #teachers ♬ Steven Universe - L.Dre
The playground dynamics
Erica shared that they were at the park, and this group of girls was playing. Addy wanted to play with them, but the girls did not want to play with her. The mother said this is common among kids, wherein they form their groups or cliques.
When Addy was rejected, she came to her mom complaining about being excluded, saying. "they do not want to play with me."
She assured her kid, saying that it was okay to play with herself. She further explained by giving her kid three alternatives: she plays alone, finds another group to play with, or plays with her mom. Addy thought for a moment and then happily played with herself moments later.
According to Erica, children should be taught to respect other children's boundaries at a young age. She noted that if parents could teach their children the skill set of being okay with setting boundaries, rejecting, not wanting to play with them, and not liking or accepting them, their lives would be better.
She said that the kids would grow into teenagers and become adults. For some of these kids, their attitude would never change. They will later have an issue because they want people to like and accept them. Hence, she advised starting the kids early by teaching them about taking rejection and respecting other people's boundaries.
Applaud on the "hard truth"
Viewers affirmed the "hard truth" that Erica shared about the playground dynamics, as many agreed that it is "such an important message." One viewer said that she wishes her parents had taught her the same lesson, as everything feels like a rejection now.
Another commented that everyone does not have to be a "friend" but "we do always have to be kind."
Evolve Treatment, a teen rehab center, says that in their experience, boundaries are essential for kids to learn from parents at a young age as it is a stepping stone of how an individual gradually learns to abide by rules, either written or unwritten.
Setting boundaries gives a child a solid sense of self. Not having limits or boundaries encourages narcissism and entitlement. Setting boundaries also encourages the child to be sensitive about people and things around them. Meanwhile, kids with no boundaries or discipline usually get a "rude awakening" when they do not always get what they want.
Boundaries are consequences, Verywell Family said. Teaching a child that there are rules and consequences for not following these rules will encourage them to modify their behavior to what is expected of them.
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