Pregnancy is not just about physical change. It involves changes in well-being - emotional, mental, and spiritual even - that can test one's character and the couple's relationship.
According to Raising Children, pregnant women are most likely to feel more vulnerable and tired than usual and will always need support. They can be more interested and involved in the pregnancy than the father, resulting in less attention to the latter or feeling frustrated towards the latter for not having the same interest and involvement. They can also be less or more interested in sex than they used to be, creating tension between partners.
Pregnancy is not a journey of just the mother but a journey of two - the parents as one and the baby that both are taking care of. Thus, couples must remember the "Us" mentality, taking the pregnancy journey together as a team.
Experiencing it all together creates healthy relationships and pregnancy
"Only one partner is pregnant, but the more each tries to make the pregnancy a joint experience, the more unity and enjoyment both will feel," Jeff Palitz wrote in his article he wrote for Mom.com. This will result in a healthier pregnancy and a happy baby in the tummy.
Here are 6 different ways to make the pregnancy journey a joint, loving experience:
1. Read pregnancy books together.
Take turns reading aloud to each other and process what you've read together. In this way, both are learning and being educated and updated about the facts and details of pregnancy.
2. Go to OB visits together.
There's nothing like hearing the baby's heartbeat, seeing the baby's face and mold on the ultrasound monitor, or finding out the baby's gender, all for the first time while holding and squeezing each other's hand together, shedding tears of joy. These are the moments that parents should share and moments that build a strong connection and make a relationship deeper.
3. Don't stop doing the things you do together pre-pregnancy.
Whether taking morning or afternoon walks, exercising together, doing household chores and the grocery, taking the dogs out or playing with them, having dates, or watching movies, keep doing the things you have been doing and enjoying as a couple before pregnancy. Abruptly ending these activities may hurt the relationship and put a gap between parents.
4. Do random surprises and sweet gestures to connect.
Palitz reminds the fathers, "While it would be nice if your partner did something for you, she's busy making a person, so do whatever you can to make her feel cared for and important. Remember, even in the easiest cases; pregnancy isn't easy!" The more little things are done to prevent any undue stress on the mother, the better she will feel, eventually making the father feel good.
5. Have sex.
Sex during pregnancy is generally safe (get advice from a doctor if there are concerns). It is a great way to burn off stress and physically and emotionally connect with your partner. Keep an open mind about sexual desires and discuss how both can satisfy each other's needs. Mothers should be reminded that their partner's needs are as essential too. Go back to number 3 - don't stop doing the things you enjoy doing together pre-pregnancy.
6. Converse and communicate each other's fears, anxieties, expectations, joys, and dreams.
Couples are made to believe that they already know everything about each other. "Although you may have discussed your values, hopes, dreams, and fears with each other prior to conception, revisiting this conversation is always valuable, as sometimes things can change when the pregnancy dream becomes a reality," Palitz explained. Thus, open and honest conversations about the effects of pregnancy on self and relationships, child care expectations, post-partum obligations, and parental influences should happen regularly.
It takes a village to raise a child; start building now
Another essential thing to do together as a couple is to start choosing and agreeing on the people who will be part of the "village" in raising the baby. Parents working as a team bring about healthy and happy pregnancies, but this team of two people will not be enough to raise a healthy, happy child.
The Write Of Your Life organization stressed the importance of a village, "When a community of healthy adults supports a child, they build a robust social and emotional support system around that child. The child grows up with and becomes accustomed to healthy connections. Empathy and resilience are natural byproducts, and these two protective factors can decrease many other risk factors that could potentially come into play in the child's life."
There will always be a need for more hands, feet, and hearts to take care, protect and love the child and the parents.
Related Article: 3 Simple Strategies to Manage a Parental Burnout
