Parents that are still waiting for the right time and age to discuss pornography with their children should stop waiting and act now, a recent report stresses.
In a new survey by Common Sense Media on Teens and Pornography, it was confirmed that most of the 1,300 teen respondents aged 13 to 17 had watched porn online. Some said they stumbled upon it accidentally, while a significant number admitted viewing porn intentionally online regularly, which means once a week or more.
What has been more alarming is that the average age of kids exposed to online pornography is 12 years old. However, 15 percent of children saw their first porn at the age of ten or even younger.
An Ohio-based clinical psychologist specializing in the development of teenage girls, Dr. Lisa Damour, expressed that the new data does not surprise her, stating that teens are introduced and exposed to porn "far more often" than their parents or many adults assume.
According to Common Sense Media founder and CEO Jim Steyer, parents might assume that their kids are not part of the percentages. However, he stresses how the numbers are "overwhelming." Thus, parents need to think again.
Steyer even stated that teens' exposure to pornography at a very young age is a crucial public health and sexual health issue the world has right now that is "literally being buried by parents, by educators and by all of us."
What do teens think about porn
Another very concerning piece of information the report gave is that most teenagers are watching violent and aggressive forms of porn. Fifty-two percent admitted to seeing pornography depicting rape, choking, and seeing someone in pain.
Only 33 percent stated that the content they were watching implied asking for consent first before doing the sexual act.
Twenty-seven percent of the teens thought that the porn they watched accurately depicts sex, and 45 percent shared that porn gives them helpful information about sex.
Dr. Devorah Heitner, the author of "Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World" and founder of Raising Digital Natives, a resource for parents and schools, stated that parents need to understand and accept that curiosity around sexuality is very common for teenagers. Thus, parents need to assume that their kids must have already seen something that they were not supposed to, especially since children as young as eight are already exposed to social media more than ever, as the doctor wrote in a New York Times article.
While 73 percent of the participants saw pornography online when they were 17 or younger, 58 percent saw the content accidentally by clicking on a link they did not realize would take them to a porn site or stumbling upon a pornographic advertisement or being shown to them by a peer.
Eighteen percent of the teenagers who saw porn unintentionally stumbled upon it on social media.
These kids are not viewing porn only on closed doors, with 41 percent admitting that they watch online porn during school days while 31 percent watch even while attending school in person.
What are parents to do
Unfortunately, more than half of these teenagers never discussed this with their parents or a trusted adult about pornography.
The report, though, has provided a silver lining.
There was 43 percent who had "the talk" with either their parents or an adult they trust, and among these teens, 51 percent expressed that the conversation "encouraged [them] to think about ways to explore sex or [their] sexuality other than porn," a confirmation that parents and caregivers need to start discussing porn to their kids even before they start their teenage years.
Damour even suggested that the conversation should start before the kids get to have their own mobile phones or other devices, CNN News reported.
If parents do not know how or where to start, Damour encouraged them to start by saying that porn rarely depicts the "loving, tender, mutual intimacy that characterizes a healthy love life." Parents need to have the courage to tell their children that if the latter stumble upon porn, they are available to answer any confusion or questions that might have resulted.
"The best offense here is preparing them for a world where porn is highly accessible and may be giving kids misleading information about sex, consent and practices that they may assume are expected or 'common' because they see people in porn doing them," Heitner explained.
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