Authoritative Parenting: Pros, Cons, and Its Effects on Children

Authoritative parents excel at balancing being strict and lenient. They show warmth and kindness but also enforce effective limits. They respect their children's personalities and desire to raise well-rounded, independent, and happy persons who will positively add to society.

What Is Authoritative Parenting?

Authoritative parents allow their kids to make good options through rules, distinguishing them from authoritarian parents, who focus extremely on rules, and permissive parents, who largely prevent them.

"Authoritative parents understand the importance of setting limits and boundaries without being overly strict," says Jeff Nalin, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Paradigm Treatment Centers. They promote self-expression and problem-solving without enforcing too many rules or unrealistic anticipations.

Authoritative parents are nurturing, responsive, and supportive but also constantly set limits.

Characteristics of Authoritative Parents

• Allow their children to fail while providing support and guidance when needed
• Emphasize a well-rounded upbringing
• Regularly discuss household rules with their children
• Prioritize fairness and respect
• Empower their children rather than intimidating or befriending them
• Show interest in their children's thoughts and feelings
• Set clear expectations and communicate them effectively

"Authoritative parents view their child as a complete person and treat them with love and compassion," says Brenda Arellano, LPA, a licensed psychological associate and pediatric anxiety specialist. They gently encourage their children to step out of their comfort zones to try new things and challenge themselves.

Pros of Authoritative Parenting

• Accountability: Children learn to take accountability for their preferences, making them less vulnerable to peer pressure and more capable of making good decisions. They also tend to prevent drug use.
• Respect: Children who are respected by their parents are more likely to respect others and prosper in social settings.
• Resiliency: Permitting children to fail and learn from mistakes establishes resilience, self-esteem, problem-solving skills, and confidence. This parenting style also helps lessen depression during adolescence.
• Leadership: These children develop the confidence and decision-making skills required for leadership roles.
• Academic Success: Authoritative parents support their children's education, helping them develop good homework habits and academic achievement.

Cons of Authoritative Parenting

Despite its many advantages, authoritative parenting isn't without challenges.

Children will go through normal phases of rebellion, anger, and apathy, which can be a challenge for authoritative parents who have high anticipation and aim to raise their children in the best way possible. Patience is essential during these times.

"Authoritative parenting can be challenging and time-consuming to implement because it requires a balance of discipline and freedom," says Nalin.

Parents may need to experiment to find the best strategies. In cases of rebellious behavior, it's important to remain firm and outline consequences clearly.

Examples of Authoritative Parenting

• Screen time: Authoritative parents set screen time limits considering their children's ages and situations, often working with their children to establish mutually agreed rules. Good behavior can earn extra screen time.
• Play dates: Children understand the expectations and boundaries that must be met before going out to play.
• Food and treats: While kids don't have unrestricted access to the kitchen, they are allowed to make simple meals if they dislike what's served and can grab snacks or pack their own lunch.
• Anxious situations: Arellano explains that authoritative parents help children face their fears by validating their feelings and offering comfort while still expecting them to participate in activities like a neighborhood picnic.

How to Be an Authoritative Parent

Being an authoritative parent requires time and effort to establish clear, developmentally appropriate expectations and follow through consistently.

• Praise your child for good listening and following directions.
• Spend one-on-one time with your child, permitting them to select the activity.
• Guarantee everyone in the home understands reasonable and developmentally appropriate boundaries and expectations.
• Be clear about consequences and enforce them.
• Avoid harsh or coercive parenting techniques.