Marriage is meant for a lifetime. However, for some couples, it's meant to be broken. Dealing with divorce is devastating for both couples, especially with their children. Even more so, there's no denying the huge impact this will have on your kids, especially if they're teenagers.
Take a look at some ways on how you can help your teens recover and survive in the turmoil of divorce. Huffington Post and Understanding Teenager listed the following do's and don'ts to help your teens recover from your divorce:
Dos and don'ts with teenagers affected by divorce: Divorce is not usually easy on anyone involved. In fact, it... https://t.co/1kKuzDuYXD
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Things Not To Do
1. Do not let your teens spy on your ex.
Some things are personal especially if you want to know what your estranged spouse is doing in his life after a divorce. Do not ever let your teens be messengers to know what is happening with your ex.
This is damaging and traumatizing for them as they are put in a tough spot. Your divorce is between you and your ex-partner, so there's no reason to involve your children in the unfavorable moments.
2. Do not keep your teens from your spouse.
Your teens must not be kept apart from your spouse even though you divorced. Let your teen build a relationship with your spouse, too. As a parent, it is your duty to put your child's needs ahead of yours -- don't deprive your child of their parent.
3. Do not talk negative things about your ex.
Divorce is harmful to your teens. With this, you should not make it any more difficult on them as it is. Keep your negative sentiments and ill feelings to yourself, these are things your teenager doesn't need to hear. There are other people you can vent to and your child shouldn't even be on that list.
4. Don't talk about the divorce until your teens are ready.
Readiness is the key to making your teens accept the divorce. Let your teens talk about it when they are ready. Keep in mind that people cope differently -- so just imagine what your moody teenager must be feeling. Give them space and let them come to you.
Things To Do
1. Stay positive and strong
You must show resilience to your teens in spite of the divorce. Stay affirmative always. This would make your teens accept the divorce more easily. Not only that, but practicing this habit would help you cope with the situation with a better mindset as well.
2. Keep connected and communicate well
Keep good and in constant contact with your teens. Having open communication with them will help you build a much stronger relationship with your teenager. This also helps your teen feel like things are under control and normal, despite the current familial situation.
3. Continue with the routine
Keep an eye on your teenager and get him to continue with his daily routine, especially if they seem to be showing signs of depression. Urge them to have regular meals, continue to accomplish chores and other activities. Not only does this help them keep the divorce off their minds, but it also teaches them a lesson on moving on and how life could still be pretty great.
4. Help and Support your Teens
The most important thing of all is maintaining yourself as a good parent to your teenager. If they are having any difficulties, do not shy away -- instead, reach out to them; sometimes they might just be apprehensive to talk to you about things but all they need is assurance in all aspects. Support them physically, spiritually, emotionally and financially.
