Amicable endings as a transition from a dissolved partnership may be an indication of a worrying trend. A study suggests that when "amicable" extends to exes staying friends after a breakup, someone in the relationship may be a psychopath.
According to Metro a study by Oakland University researchers suggests that when exes remain friends after the relationship ends a "dark triad" of traits may be at play. The study on Personality and Individual Differences posits that these exes largely may have an ulterior motive for persisting in the friendship.
Refinery 29 reports that the researchers gave respondents a test, which measured personality traits that are considered to be "dark." Post-relationship pattern pertaining to treatment of exes was also established.
The respondents were initially asked to indicate their reasons for maintaining friendships with their exes. The respondents were asked to rate the importance of these reasons for them.
Specifically, narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellian duplicity were found among a high percentage of respondents, who are still friends with people with whom they once shared a relationship. Still, not all exes who were able to preserve their friendship have ulterior motives.
#Sherlock claims he's a high-functioning sociopath, not a psychopath. He's right (ofc): https://t.co/tGOfl5KFfu pic.twitter.com/aB5mpEP1VH
— The Conversation (@ConversationUK) January 1, 2016
Some exes stay friends out of sentimental reasons. Others choose to transition to becoming friends with their exes out of a sense of respect and value for the person.
While sentimentality figured among the reasons for staying friends, security, sex and practicality also made the cut. Respondents who scored high for narcissism and psychopathy mostly gave these reasons of strategy for remaining friends.
"Individuals who score higher on measures of dark personality tend to choose friends for strategic purposes," the authors conclude. "Thus, it is likely that these traits will be associated with valuing friendships for utilitarian or instrumental reasons, such as to maintain sexual access."
Marie Claire points out that while not all friendships among exes are indicative of personality disorder, careful assessment of ones reasons should always prove healthy. When ulterior motives characterize a friendship both exes may essentially find help and healing in letting go.
