Parents only want what's best for their children. Naturally, when they decide to marry and leave home, the parents are increasingly meticulous on the partner their kids will spent the rest of their lives with. What if what seemed like an angel was sent from heaven to bless your kid's life turns out to be a devil who's abusive and hurts your kid physically and emotionally?
Contact reporter Amy Dickinson of Chicago Tribune received a parents' letter about their son's abusive marriage. "My 40-year-old son is in an abusive marriage. His wife hits him, locks him out of the house, calls him humiliating names, has alienated him from his friends and family, etc," the worried parents wrote.
The columnist advices the parents that their priority should be their son and their grandchildren. The son must develop his confidence and the grandchildren must be taken to a safe place.
According to Dickinson, the parents should advice their son to go through a physical checkup and mental health screening. He should be under therapy by a specialist who has experience working with abused men.
The primary role of the parents is to boost their son's confidence that he can raise his kids on his own without his abusive wife. He should be encouraged by the parents to leave the house and call the police.
Considering the son is already forty, he might feel shame that his parents are going to take him and his children into custody for the meantime. Dickinson advices that the parents should constantly tell their son that they want to help and it's okay.
According to HelpGuide.Org, domestic abuse happens in a marriage when one partner tries to take control of the other. It becomes domestic violence when physical harm is caused. The first step to getting help is to recognize the abuse.
If the partner gets extremely jealous and possessive, keeps one from seeing friends and family, limits the other's access to money and belongings, and threatens to commit suicide if the other leaves are signs of evident abuse. Other signs include the partner threatens to hurt or kill, forces to have sex and destroys the other's belongings.
In another HelpGuide.Org article, there are more domestically abused women than men but there are also abused men that are skeptical to leave a marriage. Police speculate their reasons, custody of their children is harder to get and the abused husband has limited resources.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline for U.S. and Canada is 1-800-799-7233. They can respond to the concerns of abused wives and husbands.
Have you been in an abusive relationship and managed to get out of it? Feel free to share your experience or other stories that may inspire others on the Comments section below and follow Parent Herald for more news and updates.
