It is normal and natural for any parent to fall apart, especially after a divorce or separation. Even though the separation is amicable, divorced parents go through a grieving process in which they may feel angry, sad, overwhelmed and impatient. Children are affected as well and experience a transition and a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
Following a divorce, several parents tend to ditch the idea of giving consequences or punishments as part of disciplining their child. The reason? Many parents feel guilty about what the divorce or separation have done to their child's life, Empowering Parents noted.
While divorce can be a big part of your child's life, determining the children's quality of life remains the responsibility of each parent. On the other hand, guilt-driven parenting can be dangerous as it can become a habit and children may develop some bad behaviors.
Guilt-driven parenting bring forth different effects and can manifest in various ways. But when guilt starts to control and drives your parenting skills, there are three most dominant manifestations, as outlined by Huffington Post:
1) Guilt can lead to strict and controlling parents. What children feel or have to say will not matter as they are supressed under an authoritarian style of parenting.
2) Guilt can also influence parents to be too lenient, which is the exact opposite of a controlling and strict parent. Due to the greatest fear of parents that their children would not want to live with them or won't love them, parents forego enforcing consequences.
3) Lastly, guilt-driven parenting can lead to a competitive child-raising concept rather than cultivating the idea of co-parenting. What's worst is the fact that guilt can turn a parent to manifest a spiteful manipulative attitude.
So, if parents are starting to identify these behaviors on them, they really need to stop and get some professional help. Parents should also remember that the most important thing to focus on is not oneself or an ex but your children who need to feel loved, nurtured and safe whether the family is intact or not.
Speaking of co-parenting, a recent article published for The Guardian outlined what may be the latest trend after a divorce or separation - the so-called parenting pre-nup. According to Yahoo! News, the 16-page legal and philosophical agreement about child-raising allowed a mom to give "the best of both worlds" to her daughter.
Are you guilty of guilt-driven parenting? Share your thoughts below and check out Parent Herald for more news and updates.
