Most people would agree that it's not easy to see a child cry. Regardless of the reason behind the crying, anyone's, especially parents' first instinct is to stop it. Unfortunately, this is where most parents go wrong.
Getting a child to be happy may offer temporary satisfaction to both the parent and the child but it's not as fruitful in the long term. It's important to let children handle their emotional storms themselves, for their lifelong success.
According to HS Cares, those children who are made to manage their feelings in classrooms by their teachers are said to become better problem solvers when they're faced with any sort of issue. They are also better at engaging in learning tasks as shown by researches.
Studies also show that teenagers with better emotional intelligence polish this skill further by associating themselves with stressful situations and enhance their learning. According to the Wiley Online Library, symptoms of depression and anxiety mostly arise in those who lack emotional intelligence.
Qualities such as grit and resilience are built by emotional skills. So, a child should be allowed to experience negative emotions but most parents prevent that. Most parents rush into offering their children solutions to whatever problems they face and to shower them with advices, trying to minimize their pain.
This stops a child from learning how to cope with problems and help herself. Many families focus on pushing away negative emotions rather than accepting and working on them with the child. This way parents fail in understanding the child in the reality of her emotions, as someone with her own unique emotional world.
The New York Times remarks that societal stereotypes also push down emotions and stop them from surfacing in the child. For example expressions like "boys don't cry" and "brush it off" are making show-of-emotions a taboo among children. Families discourage children in this way even though they claim to have good intentions.
Helping our children recognize the kind of emotions they're going through is the only way to help them cope with those feelings more effectively. This isn't just limited to kids but to adults as well. Most people fail to pin-point the real cause behind their distress and are unable to counter it.
One of the best things a parent could do to help a child going through a bad mood is tell her that "this too shall pass", that not even the hardest of emotions last forever. This will make it easier to get over it. Also, it's good to remind a child that it's not necessary that the same feelings would resurface if an event repeats itself.
For example fear of skydiving would decrease with every next try. Similarly, our experience of the same thing changes when it takes place again. Most people delude themselves by believing that they can't do certain things for example a child saying, "I can't do math."
This is just fear and not a fixed state and it can change once the emotions are overcome. So as a conclusion, it can be said that children need to be taught that the way they respond to an emotion is what really matters rather than just what they feel. If this teaching is instilled in children, we can ensure that they'll end up as stronger and more mature adults.
