No one tells parents that their children more often than not will irritate and annoy them to the point that parents feel a sense of profound despair. From the uncontrollable cries to the transgressions of norms, the parental life is filled with a series of crisis that provokes rage, bewilderment and a lot of guilt.
How is it possible that parents are surprised to have such feelings? It is indeed possible and probably normal for every parent to feel like this sometimes. In fact, parents, like teachers, have a right to it.
Teachers often scream at rowdy kids who fail to conform to certain rules and regulations laid out by higher authorities. One might say that it's okay for a teacher to act rashly but not for a parent. However, that's a completely bogus claim.
Parents ought to express their annoyances effectively in words without facing any guilt or fear. These thoughts can be expressed without harming, insulting and labeling the child of what he is.
Parents must not lose sight of objectivity in this process of expressing their genuine feelings towards their child. Good Therapy suggests that describing children what the problem is the key for parents to find solace and in turn gain the trust of a child as well as their understanding.
It is better to convey a clear message, such as "I am annoyed" or "I feel sad" or "I am angry" rather deriding the kid for their stupidity. For example, if a parent sees a disorderly room after returning from work, they should inform the kids that "I see the floor washed down and it bothers me because the place of clothing is not the floor". This will help the boy stand in the parent's shoes. They'll know what parents are going through because of them.
A parent has every right to exert their anger onto their kids for bad behavior or dumb decisions but what they shouldn't miss out on understanding is to make their child learn. A child's learning should be the most crucial objective of parenting. Anger is justified if it is effective in making children understand their wrongdoings and helps them amend their past mistakes.
According to the Huffington Post, recognizing anger, disappointment or sadness is the first step for a parent to take. Expressing succinctly how they are feeling because of something that a child did, is the way to go. This doesn't mean parents should stop vocalizing anger, what it does mean is to lash out anger in a way appropriate enough to make the child understand.
