When a woman first become a mom, especially if she is a single mother or living alone with her newborn child, things might get complicated even more than she expect them to be. Most of the time, new moms are just clueless on what they should do.
According to Huffington Post, a wonderful book titled, "The Gardener and the Carpenter" by Alison Gopnik, comes in handy. The book strikingly explained the new science that explains how parents and children connect and the kind of relationship they have from a very initial stage.
Gopnik also explained the difference between a "Gardener" and a "Carpenter" approach when in comes to parenting. She said that parents, as well as educators, should strive hard to be more "gardeners" who tends the soil rather than being a "carpenter" who tries to shape a child as he would do with woods.
The author, Alison Gopnik is a psychologist at the prestigious University Of California and is also a child development expert. As per Greater Good, Gopnik stresses in her book that parents should stop worrying and obsess over their individual effort to raise kids and instead focus on more societal factors that play a part in child's personality development.
Modern science suggests that more than just parents or a particular institution, a child is in need of a network of people to appreciate, approve and care for him. However, in families, from parents to grandparents and siblings, there are some people who look after the kid.
When families are scattered and not working or living in one place, however, your child is may suffer from it. Hence, it is very vital that parents provide their child with a very healthy and supportive community that can play a positive part in the nourishment of a child, apart from individual development.
According to Gopnik, there are three things that are very important for the child especially at the early stage. Number one, parents should give their kids unconditional attention, love, warmth and commitment.
Second is how parents convey the moral, ethical and family value to him. The method should help them more "induction" than forcing. Lastly, and perhaps the most important is providing him a safe, stable and secure environment to live in.
