Moms of two or more kids have been mistaken for parental expertise by new moms. A mother of four shared how a new mom had mistaken her parenting experience for expertise. The mother said, though she's a mother of four already, she's not an expert parent, and she's no better at motherhood than anybody. And so she suggested new moms to not mistake parenting experience of moms with more children for expertise.
Alicia Assad wrote in Scarry Mommy her encounter with new parents who asked her some parental advice as they thought she's an expert already because she has four kids. However, Assad instead of giving advice to suit to their expectation of an "expert parent" decided to validate them especially the new mom that they've already figured out what parenting is about and that they don't need her advice.
Assad admitted that she has a long resume of experience and she can crush a mother of "just one" who said she has paid out her amends in sleep deprivation. She also has been used to her children interrupting her sleep, and so it does not affect her that much. In fact, according to her, she may be less tired now as experience gives her peace of mind.
Assad does not believe that cleaning a vomit or doing laundry makes her more expert. She believes lice out of four heads is difficult, but still, it's manageable. However, these things did not make her more adept.
She still deals with frustrations that all parents experience. She is still confused just like new moms. Her brain is processing so many things, and when she reads new research which contradicts everything she has been influenced to believe in the past, she starts to throw a tantrum just like her daughter.
"Parenting is something most of us experience, and even if we don't experience it firsthand, we observe it," Kathleen Gerson, a sociologist at New York University, said to LiveScience. She added that on the one hand, people all think they are experts at it, and on the contrary, they are very uncertain about doing it.
In the end the "mother of four" admitted she's not an expert and even no better at motherhood than anybody. She admitted she's a too frazzled and a bit cranky to keep up with the newest trends. She just advised all moms to learn from each other and give new mothers the respect that they deserve.
