Pamela Chandler, a white woman, listed down 13 things she learned after being married to a black man, Walter. She also shared on Facebook whar having a biracial daughter has taught the couple.
Many people in interracial relationships and those who have no idea about the experience commented on the post. Read on to see what the couple found out about what it is like if your partner is treated or perceived differently by others.
She files the paperwork
Pamela handles anything that has to do with administrative work, such as handling store clerks or getting documents signed. She said that people listen and are more agreeable to her than with her husband.
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She is the driver
Every time the couple leaves the Dayton area, Pamela drives. Without talking, the couple instantly knows that if they leave their "safe area," she is the one driving.
Avoid the greeting card aisle
Finding a black or interracial couple greeting card is hard, so people who have a relationship the same as Pamela's and her husband's are rarely in that aisle.
The same goes with toy section
If there are 25 white options in the toy area, there are only one to two black or biracial doll options.
Her black husband goes all out to show a friendly face
Pamela wrote that her husband talks with everyone to show that he is nice. Walter has learned that a 6'5 Black man intimidates people, so he is overly friendly so people would not be scared of him.
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Skin tone does matter
People who find their daughter adorable are the same people who cross the street if Pamela's husband was walking alone.
No one thinks they paid for their home
Many of their neighbors thought that Pamela's dad bought their house for them. She wants to let the people know that their home is fully paid by themselves and have no mortgage.
Ready with the receipt
The white wife always has her receipt ready when her husband pushes the cart when leaving the store.
There are many racists
When they eat at around four to five in the evening at Bob Evans, a restaurant that caters to seniors, older people stare at them.
Some religious people judge them too
It took them years to find a church that has low to none racist members.
Avoid stars 'n bars
As much as possible, the couple avoids places with Confederate flags.
Walter has to be by his daughter's side in parks
Walter stays by his daughter's side at all times when they go to the playground. If he is sitting alone on the park bench, people might wonder what a "big black man" could be doing there.
A non-controversial statement is still controversial
Walter asked Pamela to remove the "Black Lives Matter" sign on their door. He is afraid that the sign could make his family a target when he is outside of their home.
See also: Six-Year-Old Got Kicked Out for Wearing Black Lives Matter Shirt to Daycare
Pamela told Upworthy that many people are very familiar with their experiences, especially those with interracial relationships. Her most favorite replies from her posts are from those older white people. Many of them were shocked and heartbroken.
She believes that they have to share their experiences to make a change. They made a Facebook page, The Chandler Crew, and a blog to connect with like-minded people worldwide. Finally, Pamela said that at the end of the day, people are just learning and unlearning and learning again how to love one another better.
