When your child is born, you probably said at some point that you're never going to let her out of your sight until she's old enough to be on her own. While most parents realize that they have to let their kids go out and explore the world by the time they're 18 and off to college, there will be a point when your six, seven or eight-year-old will ask permission to spend the night at a friend's house.
Most parents see these ages too young -- even in their excitement, there may be questions that need answering before you can decide to let your kid stay out on her own. However, according to parenting author Kathy Lynn, there are four questions to help you decide whether or not you should give your child a pass to stay with another family for a night:
- Has she spent a night away from home at a relative's house without feeling uncomfortable?
- Does she know the family that she's staying and is she comfortable with her friend's parents?
- Does she want to go?
- Does she handle other separations well?
If the answer to all these questions is "yes," then maybe you can give her a pass to go to a slumber party. However, there are things you can do to make it more comfortable for your kid.
For instance, you can send her with some comforts like her blanket or the stuffed animal that she likes to cuddle with to help her feel more secure when the lights go out. You can also add a book or video that she enjoys, so that she can share it with her friends. But most importantly, as your child is staying out, you must plan to stay in, just in case she changes her mind about the sleepover and calls you at 11 PM, asking to pick her up.
Lynn advised that if you do get the "come save me" call, don't grill her about it. Instead, she said, "pick her up, give her a hug and say, 'Maybe next time.'"
