Parents are often tempted to share their wisdom and give advice to their children without listening to them. However, when they give a piece of advice or an interpretation of the told facts along with any other comment that represents a parent's own perception of how the situation might have panned out, the result is almost always a child's deteriorating mood and an upcoming major tantrum
Why? Because now, in addition to the pain the child is already dealing with, he will be furious on parents for not listening or for judging and underestimating the issue without understanding what the kid has to say. According to Bowen Island Undercurrent, it is never helpful to give advice to a child's problem before witnessing it from one's own eyes.
What to do under such situations? Although people know that in the society, silence is usually uncomfortable, saying nothing can be the best thing we can do for the child's emotional well-being. According to Kids Matter, listening attentively and in silence is a vote of trust, respect and love. Listening gives the child a clear message that interests us, we accept whatever mood, we trust him or her and we respect their way of downloading the pain.
If parents perceive that saying validation words only increases the anger of their son or daughter, remembering silence has much to gain from at the small cost of keeping your mouth shut for a short while is important. The child needs to be listened to and offering the gift of silence is often the best way to show your love in this kind of situations.
Authentic validation, without interpreting the child's feelings and without hidden judgments or advice, help the child express their feelings without crying, which leads to their emotional recovery. Although parents may feel uncomfortable with the dramatic expression of their emotions, for the child, it is a healthy way to let them out. When feelings of hate are expressed freely to someone who listens with love, the child can overcome that emotion and experience love and happiness again.
