Parents who think that their children are the extensions of who they are could lead to the development of a problematic and unhealthy relationship. Countless of researches have pointed out that this is a grave mistake to make as the children are supposed to find their own interests and not fulfill the ones their parents failed to pursue.
Experts call this family dynamic as narcissistic parenting, according to the British Journal of Psychotherapy. Simply put, it is when parents try to control, correct or navigate the lives of their children as driven by their own desires, wishes and aspirations.
The Herald Tribune cites the potential dangers of parents living vicariously through their kids. It invites feelings of failure, especially when the children decide to do something else that isn't what their parents would have wanted.
As a result, the parents end up either constantly berating the kids for not doing what they want or they end up "fixing" what they regard as a "problem." These parents develop a sense of entitlement over their children.
What this shows, however, is that entitled parents cannot acknowledge the reality that the children are not failures; they only want a different path. In doing so, they do not give the children a chance to fail, find solutions and recover, which are necessary life skills to learn for when they become adults.
Moms or dads who find ultimate fulfillment in their children may bask in their successes. If the children fail, however, narcissistic parents tend to cultivate self-hatred. Instead of acknowledging the failures, parents cover this up to save themselves from embarrassment, which does not help the children.
Such a response would only perpetuate a different reality that could end up as a frustrating situation. Narcissistic parents reflect the shame on their kids who end up believing that they are big disappointments.
Parents, do you understand the dangers of living your dreams through your kids? What are your thoughts on narcissistic parenting? Share this in the comments section below!
